


To be better

by Melime



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, Tumblr Prompt, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 21:10:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4537500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Pepper told him that she is pregnant, Tony's anxiety relating to fatherhood keeps him up at night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To be better

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Português brasileiro available: [Ser melhor](https://archiveofourown.org/works/4537512) by [Melime GreenLeaf (Melime)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melime/pseuds/Melime%20GreenLeaf)



> Prompt: #16 "I did a pregnancy test" sent by anonymous. Because I had two ideas that didn't fit together and couldn't decide which I liked more so I ran with both.

Tony was standing in the kitchen, alone in the dark. He had gotten up for a glass of water, but that had been almost an hour ago. He knew he had to get back before Pepper woke up, he didn’t want to worry her with his problems, especially now.

The echo of what she had told him before still resonated in his mind. ‘I did a pregnancy test and it’s positive! I’m pregnant!’ she had said, with an excited voice and a smile on her face. He had almost been in too much of a shock to answer to that, but luckily, he managed to meet her excitement and keep a façade of pure joy. In reality, his primary emotion had been fear. Tony was terrified to think of himself as a father.

At first, all he could think about was his own father. After all, how could he ever hope to raise a child if he never had an example of that in his life? Then he realized he was being unfair. While it was true that he owned nothing to his own father on that regard, parenting was parenting regardless of gender, and he had his mother to take after; also, having Aunt Peggy and Jarvis as role models wouldn’t hurt either.

But then, oh then, then the problem that was really keeping him up creeped into his mind. Because blaming his father was easier than facing the fact his own actions were the reason he was so terrified. How could a man with so many skeletons in his closet ever hope to be a good father? In a moment such as this, all that came into his mind were his worse acts and their tragic consequences. He couldn’t think of a single redeeming moment, although there were many. His anxiety was an insidious thing, pointing all his flaws and not allowing him to see any qualities.

Tony was so absorbed by his thoughts that he didn’t notice Pepper until hugged him from behind and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Want to tell me that’s keeping you up?”

Tony placed a hand on her arm and lowered his face to place a kiss on her joined hands. “Not now, you should go back to bed, I’ll be there in a minute.” He didn’t want to talk about it, because part of him knew that his worry was irrational, but at the same time part of him feared it wasn’t.

“I won’t go unless you come with me, let’s go back to bed.” She took his hand and led him back to the bedroom.

It wasn’t the end of those invasive thoughts that made him question his value and his ability to raise a child, but at least for a moment he let himself be comforted, even if the mere need of said comforting made him feel guilty. He couldn’t know what kind of father he would be, but he promised himself he would be a better person than his past self, and a better father than his ever was.


End file.
